Jesus Packs An Uzi and Teflon Bullets In High Capacity Magazines

The three top arguments which American gun advocates site for owning assault weapons are:

1. People need guns for self-protection in their homes.

[The ultimate in circular arguments. If we had fewer weapons on the street, like most every other industrialized country in the World, this would not be an issue! Australia got rid of guns and showed that it can be done.]

But no, the “bad People” will have guns even if we don’t. So let’s just set up armed camps surrounding our homes with heavily armed guards to stop all “those bad people” (I think some have called that situation as nothing more than living in a prison camp. Sounds pleasant.) While there is some comfort in having a gun to protect yourself against home-intruders, the number of practical issues and problems which you have to overcome in order to be able to adequately defend yourself are so great, it makes little to no sense to truly believe you will be able to defend yourself at all.

First, you need to make certain that you thoroughly train yourself on the use of your firearms and that you constantly keep up and maintain your training. It is not like riding a bike and when in the middle of a crisis even the best trained police say using a weapon is dangerous.

Second, where are you going to keep the gun and the bullets? With you in the shower? How about in the pool? Sunday dinners must be a blast while you carve the roast and check the scope on your surface to air missiles. What a treat to have Santa come down the chimney only to be blasted away by your grandson’s Colt AR-15 Sporter SP1 Carbine.

And if you have children, how are you going to lock the gun and lock away the bullets and still be in a position to use the weapon. Guess all kids should go to military school from kindergarten on so as to be properly trained. Forget swings, just set up Boot camp style training programs with razor wire and live shells in order to instill the values and physical endurance necessary for their patriotic service.

Statistics show time and time again, a person is much more likely to kill or maim a family member or have the weapon used against them than be in a position to use the weapon for self-defense. But slaughtering your family is a small price to pay to feel “safe and secure” on your lounge chair.

Keeping weapons for self-defense is like wearing a trench coat in a nuclear fallout and saying everything will be just fine.

2. Hunters need guns for “hunting” and sport.

[Hunting is no more a sport than killing fish in a barrel.]

So you need to hunt to feed your family? I get that, but do you need more than simply a rifle or shotgun? Last I checked there are few “big game animals (tigers, lions, and bears, oh my)” to hunt in the US.

And as to being a “sport,” what is the sport? The animals aren’t armed. Since the animals don’t carry assault rifles, why would you ever need one?

Is it that you need to prove your virility and importance by killing defenseless animals? Your money would be better spent on therapy and spending time with your wife and young children (or is it a way to avoid them?).

3. American citizens need guns to protect and defend themselves against a tyrannical government which seeks to oppress or kill them.

[The ultimate, grandiose, paranoid, delusional excuse used only by “true” patriots. (Samuel Johnson made this famous pronouncement that patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel on the evening of April 7, 1775).]

The most ludicrous part of this idiotic argument is that suddenly, all your neighbors and friends will turn to you, yes you, to have you decide for them that the US Government is now tyrannical and needs to be overthrown (usually called Treason, but hey you are just being a “Patriot.”). But no, the “people” will rise up with you when you decide tyranny is afoot.

Question? What constitutes tyranny? Having to wait in line at the Post Office to me is tyranny, or at least a pain in the ass. But what about you? Maybe you find having stop signs and speed limits tyranny (I would agree on the speed limits). Little old ladies writing checks at the grocery store drives me crazy too.  Don’t they have debit cards?

So now that we see the grandiose delusional nature of these true patriots, let’s visit the stupidity of “taking arms against the tyrants.” The US Government is the best armed military in the world and in history. So you pull out your AK-47, and – HOLY SHIT – the government shows up with Stealth Fighters, Abraham Tanks, Apache Helicopters, and a few thousand troops. But you are not deterred; except, the Government also controls the supply of food, water, gas, etc.

But you are a survivalist. You are prepared. You have your cave all stocked up and ready to go. Please stay in the cave! By the way, the Government also has bunker buster bombs.

If a revolution is ever necessary, it will not be fought by armed citizens, but by all the populace saying enough is enough and demanding change through democracy.

It is time to stop playing GI Joe and grow up. Assault weapons are only designed to kill. Believing that you are “safe” by having them is simply fool’s gold. You have been duped by arms manufacturers (lead by their puppets the NRA) and the ruling oligarchy who wish You to believe You have any control at all of your life.

Gun violence in America is a moral crime. Where are the Churches and all those good Christians demanding a stop to apartide in the United States?

“Jesus” was described as a total pacifist who died on a cross to save his people. Would “Jesus” ever own or use a gun???

 Indoctrination - a satirical look at the insanity of American Gun culture.